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How to Partner with Pain and Live Your Best Life!

Spiritual Healing Through A Breakup is finally published! This book idea originated in 2008 when I was approached by my then spouse’s cousin to write a chapter for her book ‘Wakeup Girl‘. She had gone through a difficult breakup and found writing cathartic. She and I had done some Hypnotherapy work on her pain, which she found helpful. I was thrilled and honored that she appreciated the insights I shared with her so much that she asked me to be a part of her project. Little did I know, as I was writing that chapter; I was actually preparing myself for the demise of my own troubled marriage. My spouse saw the parallels, yet, I was clueless… I was actually preparing for what was to come. By writing that chapter; which has became this book, I was well prepared emotionally for the subsequent divorce. Interestingly, in the introduction of ‘Wakeup Girl’, she described my chapter as an excerpt from my book (that I hadn’t written yet). So in actuality, she wrote Spiritual Healing Through A Breakup into reality some 10 years ago. What took so long to publish? Fear!

So, in response to that fear, I offer this self-edited and self-published ebook, as a tool for a better life for those who read it and as a personal exercise in vulnerability and freedom from the stranglehold of perfectionism. With that said; I hope the misspelled words and less than perfect grammar bring a knowing smile to your hearts. Moreover, as my talk show listeners know I’ve recently broken free of my many inhibitions and personal hangups. As a result, I’m now Free to share what I call ‘Deep Downloads’ on my site vlog and on my Youtube Channel; which are unedited, impromptu musings about my newly acquired spiritual insights. One of the most challenging downloads to share has been that the Old and New Testaments are in actuality the most valuable psychological self-help books ever written. In Spiritual Healing Through A Breakup I share many of the Biblical lessons that actually provide practical instruction on how to most effectively use the Law of Attraction to improve the lives of ourselves and others. So, in this book you will see Biblical references, be open, and open up your Bible, to cross-reference the contexts that will undoubtedly apply to your personal life lessons. It is my intention that you use the wisdom in the words and the tools, not just for healing through a romantic breakup, but to navigate through any difficult change in life, and use your painful emotions as valuable signposts guiding you to your most joyful life! 

Peace & Blessings,

uncertain black man in hoodie in studio

Dear Second-Guessers, STOP IT!

“Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” ~Unknown

If you are a second-guesser and you have trouble trusting your decisions, it’s important to remember, that you don’t have to make the right decision right now. Crucial for your own sanity is to learn to be OK with not knowing. By developing an exploratory beginner’s mind with the use of mental imagery, you get to step into, and try on each available option and its possible outcomes without any commitment. By practicing this you give yourself time to notice how each possible scenario makes you feel. This will help you to connect with and practice trusting your inner wisdom. The safest place for this practice is the testing ground of your own mind. So, when you are faced with a decision or choice, don’t give into the pressure to ‘make the right decision right now’. It’s okay (and extremely wise) to say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that’, or ‘let me sleep on it, and I’ll let you know”.

Learning to use your imagination to explore your options takes practice, but just like shampooing your own hair, certainly, you can do it yourself. But, it’s so much easier and more enjoyable when someone else massages your scalp; with that creamy lather. The same is true when it comes to employing the power of your imagination, with guided imagery.

Need help wrapping your mind around this concept? Take advantage of my limited time 60% off offer; Free Phone consultation and customized Guided Imagery audio. You may also find my Eliminate Self-Sabotage subliminal, and the many Hypnosis Downloads offered at helpful.

Peace & Blessings,


black man in workwear looking angrily at informal modish man

Finding The Gift Within Jealousy

A couple of months ago a client came to my Beyond Hypnosis studio for help with getting rid of her jealousy. As I meditated on the hidden gifts tucked in all so-called negative emotions, I realized that jealousy is nothing more than an internal alarm letting us know we are in some way suppressing our own unique divinely given gifts…and that it’s time to grow!

“Our ability to celebrate and affirm another’s brilliance, creativity, and achievements is exactly correlated to how much we are honoring and standing in our own” (brilliance, creativity, and abilities to be all we can be). – the tiny buddha

When we feel jealous of another, it’s never about them…it’s about us. However, it’s not time to beat ourselves up. It’s time to see the uncomfortable feeling as a call to action.

Try this simplified visioning process adapted from a tool created by Rev. Micheal Beckwith to find out what the divine source of all creation is nudging you to do. Take about 30 minutes to meditate on these 4 questions. Honestly write down what comes to you without judging the answers.

1-What do I want to do, be or have?

2-What must I become in order to experience this?

3-What must I let go of in order to experience this?

4-What do I already have?

5-What can I do today as a first step toward doing, being or having what I want?

Reach out to me HERE and let me know what you discover.

Peace & Blessings,


Autism Scientists Reprogram Human DNA Using Words and Frequencies

Ancient Wisdom Traditions and Spiritual Teachers have been applying the knowledge that the human body is programmable by language, words and thought. The various mantras and chanting rituals that are present in every religion and spiritual tradition on this planet bear testimony to the same. The significance of this has now been scientifically proven and explained.

An innovative Russian team, led by biophysicist and molecular biologist Pjotr Garjajev, paired linguists with geneticists in an unconventional study to test the impact of vibration and language on human DNA. They have discovered that human DNA stores data like a computer’s memory system. In addition to this the human genetic code uses grammar rules and syntax in a way that closely mirrors human language. Another discovery was that even the structuring of DNA-alkaline pairs followed a regular grammar and had set rules, revealing that all human languages are simply verbalizations of the human DNA.

The following paragraph is directly quoted from the actual description of the study: Changing DNA with spoken words and phrases “Most astounding of all, the team discovered that living human DNA can be changed and rearranged with spoken words and phrases. The key to changing DNA with words and phrases is in using the right frequency.”

The team achieved incredible results using vibration and language. For instance, they successfully transmitted information patterns from one set of DNA to another. Eventually, they were even able to reprogram cells to another genome—they transformed frog embryos into salamander embryos without lifting a single scalpel or making one incision.

The Russians’ work provides scientific proof of why a mantras and hypnosis have such powerful effects on human beings. Our DNA is inherently programmed to respond to language. Esoteric and spiritual teachers have known this for ages. All forms of  mantras and “thought power” derive in part from this underlying principle.

The Russian research also helps explain why these esoteric techniques are not equally successful for all who use them. Since clear “communication” with DNA requires the correct frequency, individuals with more highly developed inner processes will be more able to create a conscious channel of communication with the DNA. Individuals whose consciousness is more highly developed will have less need for any type of device (to apply radio or light frequencies). Scholars of this science believe that with consciousness, people can achieve results using only their own words and thoughts”.

The second experiment that comes with a dramatic visual demonstration that validates the power of sound in no uncertain terms is the experiment where water/liquid droplets are made to levitate in free space purely by applying sound frequencies. One can watch the actual process here at this link: https://www.

The third is a scientific field unto itself-the field of Cymatics; the visual demonstration of how energy frequencies in the form of sound vibrations including sound vibrations that may not necessarily be in the “audible range ” for human ears affects the environment /being-as seen by the effects of these energy waves on water and other objects that form various patterns.


Good Science is Any “Scientific Discovery” or any Tool has a practical Application that actually changes and transforms people’s lives for the be er. Applied Intentional Epigenetics in the form of using Intention and Sound is one such example of using the human voice and human Energy fields as the epigenetic tool of transformation in Autism. Thus helping autistic beings gain freedom from their limiting symptoms and communicate with ease. And helping their parents and caregivers communicate in their language and be understood with ease and joy. Intent Healing (TM) is the epigenetic tool that is bridging this “Communication gap” between the autistic children/beings and their caregivers and others a practical, experiential understanding of how human sound and energy frequencies can be applied from the aligned state of being that can manifest the results of the autistic child thriving, free from the limiting symptoms.

This was an excerpt from Application of Sound Frequencies as an Epigenetic Tool in Reversing the Limiting Symptoms of Autism. Read the entire article by Rajalakshmi Kandaswamy


Kandaswamy, R. (2017). Application of Sound Frequencies as an Epigenetic Tool in Reversing the Limiting Symptoms of Autism. Journal of Clinical Epigenetics
DOI: 10.21767/2472-1158.100038

Hypnosis Recognized By American Medical Association since 1958

As more and more studies show that hypnosis helps patients with many common medical problems, interest in hypnotherapy for medical issues is greater than ever before.

The use of hypnosis for medical issues is not exactly new. Back in 1958, the American Medical Association (AMA) recognized that hypnosis is a useful technique in the treatment of certain illnesses and a valid medical procedure. In fact, the Wall Street Journal reported in 2003 that hypnosis “is increasingly being employed in mainstream medicine” and in 2012 that “scientific evidence is mounting that hypnosis can be effective in a variety of medical situations.”

A 2016 study done by researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine confirms that hypnosis is indeed a real thing. The study was conducted with functional magnetic resonance imaging, a scanning method that measures blood flow in the brain. It found changes in activity in brain areas of hypnotized persons that are thought to be involved in focused attention, the monitoring and control of the body’s functioning, and the awareness and evaluation of a person’s internal and external environments.

Yet, hypnosis is still underutilized for medical issues. In 2016, Pierre-Yves Rodondi, a doctor at the University Institute of Social and Preventive Medicine at the Lausanne University Hospital in Lausanne, Switzerland, said: “If hypnosis were a medication it would already be in all hospitals, but it is an approach, and thus it must overcome cultural barriers.”

By Bruce Bonnett


Countries do not remain poor because their people are lazy

Are some countries determined to be poor? Are their trajectories set in stone? Are rich countries destined to always prosper?

Definitely not. But for the past 150-200 years or so, roughly the same countries have remained poor in terms of GDP. In fact, if we were to divide the world into rich and poor countries using a GDP above 20 000 USD as an indicator, only a few countries would belong in that rich elite group. Among these countries are the United States of America, Canada, Australia, and parts of western Europe, including Finland. Only a few additions have been made to the list after the beginning of the 20th century.

How these countries made it has been a subject of research for as long as we know. Various theories have been posed about why poor countries stay poor and rich countries are rich, including:

The geography theory, backed up names such as Charles-Louis Montesquie, Jeffrey Sachs and Jared Diamond. The reasoning goes that people in the tropics are inherently lazy and lack innovativeness (Montesquie), countries in the tropics are disease-prone and soils are not productive (Sachs), or countries in certain regions had the unfavorable fate of having less productive plant and animal species available for domestication (Diamond).
The culture theory, backed up by Max Weber. According to this theory the spirit of capitalism and the rise of the modern, industrial society is the result to a protestant ethic, a quality lacking from Africa, for instance – a place where old traditions and poor working morals prevail. (Hello all racists out there!)
The ignorance theory, backed up by Lionel Robbins. This theory builds on a notion that poor countries remain poor because they do not do enough to correct market failures. They do not take measures that allow the thriving of a market economy, that is the situation where all individuals and companies can freely produce, buy and sell the products and services they need.
But what if all these theories are wrong?

Seattle Mombasa Sister City Assn. Meeting

An amazing meeting of dedicated members on a cold and rainy night! We enjoyed business, a fire side pot luck and an inspiring speech by 11 year old Sibu (in the white Dashiki) entrepreneur and public speaker!





Our Chair Robin Jones D.D.S spearheads the oral hygiene education program at Good Hope Children’s Orphanage Mombasa, Kenya.


How Neediness and Emotional Insecurity Destroy Relationships

How neediness and emotional insecurity destroy relationships

“Please, clouds, don’t rain!” Not going to work, is it?

And neither will trying to reassure someone who just can’t be reassured. They will go on fretting, no matter how you plead.

Chronic insecurity in your relationship is a major problem. Why? Because relationships really, deeply matter. Your health, your wellbeing, your happiness are affected by your relationships more than any other factor. And your most intimate relationships have the biggest effect of all.

It’s not just the insecure person who suffers

Feeling insecure in a relationship is horrible for the one who is feeling the insecurity. The burden – of fear and obsessive thoughts, of feeling powerless, of awful awareness that all this insecurity may actually itself be destroying what you treasure most – can feel pretty unbearable.

But it’s also tough for the person on the receiving end of all that insecurity. The truth is that being involved with a really insecure person can be hell.

This article highlighted what a common problem insecurity is

I wrote an article a while back on overcoming insecurity in relationships and was inundated with feedback from all over the world. The scores of comments on the article itself were just the tip of the iceberg. My inbox overflowed with hundreds more private emails from people wracked by feelings of relationship insecurity.

That article, which explores the reasons for insecurity and offers practical tips to help overcome it, eventually became the springboard for the development of the new 10 steps to overcoming insecurity in relationships course. My article was mainly addressed to those who are themselves feeling insecure in a relationship; but I also got – and still get – hundreds of emails from people who have extremely insecure partners. A common recurring theme of these accounts is how isolating it can feel to find yourself in a relationship with someone who is deeply insecure. And this is one major reason why extreme insecurity can be so damaging.

Why reassuring your insecure partner is almost a lie

Because ‘reassurance’ is what insecure people want most, and anyone can say reassuring things, it’s all too easy for partners (and friends) to offer reassurances that everything is “really okay” in the relationship even when it isn’t.This is a kind of denial. And – ironically – the reasons it might not be okay are often the product of the insecurity itself.

Sometimes the only genuine problem in a relationship is the emotional insecurity of one partner and the effect that has on the relationship as a whole. But it’s easy to fall into a pattern of always pretending everything is fine, even when the insecurity becomes really damaging. Such pretense becomes isolating and can drive partners further apart. This is how insecurity can damage or even destroy the relationship.

Relationships thrive on intimacy, and intimacy stems from feeling you can safely be yourself with your partner. So what does it feel like to be in a relationship with a very insecure partner?

Worrying about relationship breakup creates it

Insecurity stemming from a fear of losing intimacy can actually bring on that loss of intimacy. Jake, a former client, described it like this:

“I actually feel totally disconnected from Sara now. She doubts my every word, doesn’t believe me when I say I’ve been working, and constantly misinterprets what I say. It’s driving me nuts! And the angrier I get, the more insecure she gets. I can’t win! I’ve tried being sympathetic, but now everything has to be on her terms, I have to ask myself all the time – is this going to upset her or not?”

Jake told me how he had started to feel very lonely in his relationship, like he had no one to talk to, because “Talking to Sara is like walking on egg shells – will I say the wrong thing? Will she take it the wrong way?”

He, like many who are close to someone so insecure, found himself getting more and more emotionally distant from Sara. He felt less able to speak to her about how he felt, and less able to relax around her. Loneliness isn’t about being alone so much as feeling alone with others – because you feel misunderstood by them – and that’s how Jake now felt with Sara. He’d begun to feel trapped, finding it hard to be around her but also hard not to be around her, because he knew how painful it was for her to be wondering where he was or whom he was with.

The painful truth is that insecurity can lead to the death of intimacy in a relationship – the fear of losing something can actually bring about that loss. Trying to force intimacy or love – demanding to know how someone feels, what they are thinking, who they’ve been talking to, what they are doing – can just drive them further from you.

So what should you do if you are in a relationship with a really insecure person?

How to tell if you have a truly insecure partner

It’s vital to figure out whether the person you are with isgenuinely excessively insecure. Some jealousy and insecurity is actually normal in most relationships from time to time – especially in the early stages. Insecure people are often insecure about their insecurity, because they instinctively know how damaging it can be. But if insecurity is a constant and central feature of the relationship then, yes, it is a problem and a potential cause of breakdown. Of course you can reassure your partner, reason with them, and be gentle and loving toward them, but it’s important not to make too many adaptations for them. This was the mistake Jake made. He had completely stopped spending any time with his friends without Sara. He rang her on the hour, every hour, when he had to work late. He told her he loved her so many times a day that it was more like a chore rather than a genuine expression of how he felt. And after a while the relationship no longer felt real to him.

If the relationship becomes all about reassuring and not upsetting the insecure partner, you and your needs get sidelined to the point that the relationship can start to feel meaningless for you. Jake and Sara’s relationship only improved once Sara herself addressed her insecurity, and learned to trust and relax more with not “having to know” what Jake was thinking or doing all the time. Her self esteem improved and, in turn, he then felt more valued, and no longer trapped or forced to behave in prescribed ways. At last he was being listened to and respected again.

If your insecure partner has enough insight to know they need to change, then you really can encourage them to make those changes that could make such a difference for both of you. Ultimately, no one should have to be constantly “on call” to their partner, or emotionally isolated by them. Good relationships are reciprocal, not one-sided. They flourish when partners trust each other, accept each other, give each other space, forgive each other for failings – and enjoy each other. You and your partner both deserve that. Read more about 10 Steps to Overcome Insecurity in Relationships by Mark Tyrrell


  1. See: Wikipedia entry: Exposure therapy
  2. See: Wikipedia entry: Flooding