Seeing with compassion…before speaking

How we see another person begins shaping the conversation before either of us says a word.

This week in Selah Monday Morning Meditation, we explored the Hebraic concept Ayin Tovah — the “good eye” and carried forward something we discovered in our previous meditation:

Our power lives in the space between noticing and choosing.

When someone disagrees with us, it’s remarkably easy to stop seeing the person and begin seeing an opponent.

Someone who needs correcting.

Someone who should understand what we understand.

Someone whose mind we need to change.

Ayin Tovah invites us to widen our view.

The person before me is another expression of life—another part of this extraordinary creation.

That doesn’t mean I have to agree.

It doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior.

It certainly doesn’t mean giving everyone access to me.

Understanding does not require agreement.

And choosing peace does not require surrendering our dignity.

During today’s meditation, we practiced bringing someone to mind with whom we disagree and noticing the assumptions, labels, and reactions that arise within us.

Then we rehearsed something different:

Listening without immediately preparing a rebuttal.

Becoming curious about what matters to the other person.

Noticing our own reactions.

Pausing.

And consciously deciding:

Who do I choose to be in this conversation?

Sometimes the highest response is gentle.

Sometimes it’s curious.

Sometimes it is a very clear:

“No. That is not acceptable to me.”

Firmness doesn’t require cruelty.

Clarity doesn’t require contempt.

Peace is not powerlessness.

We can speak truth, establish boundaries, stand against injustice, and remain connected to who we have chosen to be.

That is self-mastery.

Your Selah Practice for the Week

When a conversation activates you this week, don’t immediately begin preparing your answer.

Pause.

Breathe.

Ask:

“How am I seeing this person right now?”

Then:

“Who do I choose to be in this moment?”

And remember:

Seeing the sacredness in another does not require surrendering the sacredness in yourself.

Peace & Blessing,

Tamara